Monks, My Motorcycle, and a Spelunking Mission

When the slow boat journey turned into a 3 plus day, multi-bus, travel fiasco, Brittany and I, were desperate to find a comfortable travel alternative. We settled on a motorcycle to keep within budget and so we could travel at whatever pace we chose. We rented a 150 CC motorcycle (its really a scooter) and set to planning a trip that would have us back in Chang Mai by the end of the week. Perfectly in line with our schedule, the northern loop is a 5 day ride through the mountainous north of Thailand. The loop is an amazing ride. It weaves through the most rugged corners of the north, but in sharp contrast to the rugged terrain, the roads are well maintained with towns at surprisingly convenient spacings. I am getting ahead of myself though. Let me start where the trip started and recap the highlight of our time in Chang Mai.

Having heard that the wats in Chang Mai were of particular value to the Buddhist community we made a point to explore one of the city's largest at the north west corner of the city. The Wat is home to 700 monks who not only live but also study there, and our visit was conveniently timed in the heart of the monks’ English finals. Monks in general are already quick to start conversation in English, and in desperation to prepare for the next days tests Brittany and I were blessed with an overwhelming jump in popularity. Directly and modestly monks approached us asking for help, and in an unexpected turn of events I found myself thumbing through a dictionary leading a makeshift English class, conversations seamlessly jumping between politics and vocabulary. Brittany and I, even working as a team were understaffed, but the monks were patient and happy to have help, so for an hour we helped them work through synonym and connotation worksheets, while futilely trying to answer questions that are so big in scope its hard to fathom. With 6 or so monks gathered, one would step forward and say, “May I ask you a question?"
"Sure!" Britt said
"Why is America powerful nation number 1?" asked the monk. He then looked on expectantly, but i don't think he found what he was looking for in our blank staring. He wanted an answer and though I will spare you my half accurate and wholly ridiculous answers, I will say that neither Britt or I was shy in letting the monks know that our answers were rough at best. We have pictures that tell the story and I will upload them at some point, but in this cafe I won't bother trying. I will wait until I am back in a major city and save myself the agony.

Yesterday, I was frustrated by our slow start. A long breakfast bit us in the ass when the internet cafe visit proved more time consuming than expected. After lunch, at 3:00, we were finally leaving Pai (the first stop on the loop) feeling like we had wasted the whole day. We made it to the lot cave by 5:30 though, and as luck would have it we found our late departure had been a blessing in disguise. With the Pac Ou caves having been a bit of a disappointment, taking a chance on a remote cave wasn't standing out as a priority to me, especially this late in the day, but we were there, so we rolled the dice and paid the 6 dollars and were completely blown away. The cave stretches a dark damp half mile through a limestone peak. While low hanging at the north opening where we entered, the south entrance, 1/2 a mile through the mountain, stretches more than a hundred feet in height. As we floated our bamboo raft down the creek, the light from our guide's oil lantern stretched only a few yards in each direction- the top of the cavern shrouded in shadow and masked in mystery. But weaving amongst the stalagmites we could hear what we could not see: the deafening high pitch of a thousand echoing screeches, so numerous and so unwavering that they melted and molded into one mind numbing drone. As our raft rounded another corner, an opening in the cave, showered the walls with a penetrating light. And as our guide giggled and Brittany and I stared, the vast community looming overhead was finally revealed: Bats, Sparrows, snakes and all.

At 6:00 each day the cave explodes into life, as a dusk feeding frenzy pulls every cave dwelling bat and sparrow from the innermost depths of the cavern. The movement of life is mesmerizing. I found myself staring in disbelief. It was all at once deafening, powerful, synchronized, chaotic, scary, and somehow, in its own way, peaceful. There were literally thousands of birds and bats swooping amongst each other tearing the insect population to pieces.

I have never seen anything like it. Every inch of the rock overhang was dotted with the nests and perches of countless birds and bats. All an identical black color and all smaller than my fist. Stepping off the raft we climbed the less steep side of cave. We even chanced the questionably old wood stair well to take a closer look. Looking up, gawking in awe, I was struck with the sudden realization that I should shut my mouth. As that thought hit me, I looked down to find that the smell I had assumed was stale musty cave air, was actually a cave floor caked thick with bat and bird droppings. Though it sounds disgusting, and it was, it also spoke volumes about the sheer numbers living above our heads. How Britt and I managed to get out of there without being shat on I have no idea. It seems though, that starting with the morning delays led us to the right place at the right time, and ending with a shat free exit from the cave, the fates were, for a time, in our favor. Leaving at 7:30, we knew that the 60 km to the next town would put a heavy added price on that cave visit, but a cold ride in the dark was well worth enduring.

Surreal is a word I have used a lot on this trip, but only because it is so consistently fitting. Paddling into, and wandering through the seemingly backless cavern, oil lamp in hand and shrieking bats overhead, I couldn't help but feel like some iconic explorer. The cave is off the beaten track, so much so that we explored it almost entirely alone. It made me feel like we had stepped into the set of a Hollywood movie. Brittany said that Pirates of the Caribbean came to mind, and given the pirate legends of this particular cave I would have to agree, but the title is unimportant. That feeling is all that I will hold onto.

Riding through the dark jungle, a starless sky overhead, Brittany and I jetted along on our little scooter. She yelled over the hum of the engine that it was a bummer we couldn't see anything and i became suddenly aware that the air quality was getting worse by the mile. It was getting so bad it was hard to breathe. Hell it was hard to see. I could barely keep my eyes open. For the next three miles we putted along through an unchanging smoky haze, and then as we crested yet another nameless hill we were thrown into the belly of the beast.

A fire that looked something akin to a volcanic magma flow, weaved through a charged jungle. Orange ribbons danced up the ridge line and tinted the smoky jungle a faint fiery red. The jungle was too lush to burn, so it smoldered, pouring plumes of gray into the night. i couldn't guess how long it had been burning, but the culprit was clear. This was slash and burn farming. The jungle would burn, in turn enriching the soil, prepping it for farming at some point in the future. Slash and burn farming plagues the air quality in Southeast Asia. Its everywhere, and while this was the first time we had been close to it, we have felt the effects of it all over Laos and Thailand. Most everyone hates it. Everyone coughs, hacks and sits back red eyed and frustrated, but it seems no one has a voice to try to change anything about it. Air quality, for now, takes a back seat to concerns of feeding the country and its tourists, so for now nothing is changing. We rode on and I was baffled that no one was tending to the fire, but then again this is common place and I guess no one cares where the fire goes. Farmers set fires to prep 100 acres of farm land, and then completely ignored, each fire engulfs thousands.

Gentle Giants

I am so happy to be out of Laos that it's hard to explain. I will try to, but let me start this entry on a positive note and talk about elephants. While the Mahout program we did was only okay, elephants now hold a very special place in my heart. They have more personality than most puppies, and at washing time they are just as playful. They splash, spray, trumpet and swim like water is the most exciting thing they have ever seen- and they do it twice a day every day, 7 days a week. All morning and deep into the afternoon they repeatedly trudge in circles around the same boring loop, repeatedly yelled at by their seemingly negligent handlers. You can't help but feel bad for them, but when they hit the river you can literally watch their spirits' lift. Bathing time with the elephants was the stand alone highlight of our time in Laos. The waterfall at Tad Se was beautiful, and Nong Kiahw was the secluded mountainous Laos that we went there to see, but hanging out with the elephants easily put the rest of our experiences in Laos to shame. I loved it!

In the morning I quickly found that elephants are happy to eat whatever plants you hand them, but their favorite jungle treats are baby pineapple trees. If you uproot a 2 foot tall tree and hand it to their outstretched trunk, they hold it in front of them and repeatedly kick the tree to knock all the dirt from the roots. When they decide that its clean enough, they then engulf the entire tree in a single gargantuan bite only to spend the next 5 plus minuets chewing and liking their chops like a golden retriever trying to swallow too much peanut-butter.

The Elephants at our program were stubborn. I blame boredom for that, but when they are interested in being cooperative its easy to see that they are trained about as well as any animal I have ever seen. They are better than most dogs with verbal command response (sit, lie down, shake, fetch, etc), and with three plus times the strength of a horse they can outperform the average Thoroughbred in reign response.

They are gentle giants. I had heard that before, but I underestimated it all the same. To a "Hup" command they will outstretch their front-right-leg for you to step up on, then will dip an ear for you to grab a hold of as you climb up onto their neck. I still can't believe that hanging on their ears doesn't hurt them, but they don't seem to mind. It is about as hard to do as it sounds, but I got in one solid dismount this way, and once was enough. I will never forget it. It was frickin sweet! The morning death march, when we were strapped into baskets on their backs, was a waste of time and was in general pretty depressing, but the afternoon was unforgettable. I did manage to loose the sun glasses Britt had specifically asked me to take care of, but save for that, it was an amazing afternoon. "My bad Britt. I am sorry and I swear will make it up to you!".

As for why I am happy to be out of Laos ... Laos is in the middle of a rough transition. If you were there a month ago then you saw what will never be seen again, and if you come next month you will see a country very different from the country I saw. It seems an exaggeration, but Laos is honestly changing by the minuet, and the parts of the culture that the people are protecting seem deeply misprioritized. In a country with next to no infrastructure cell phones are still on every hip. The cell phones alone don't bother me, but when Lao people answer them mid prayer in a Buddhist Wat I find myself annoyed. I am recalling a specific incident here, and when that cell phone died, the immediate response was to weave amongst the monks to find an outlet. It seemed like the culture was dieing before my eyes.

In the two country's seen thus far Southeast Asia has felt laid back. But while both Cambodia and Laos maintain a mellow mind set, there are distinct differences in the subtleties of each country's underlying tone. Cambodia's vibe said "That's no big deal, we'll work it out.". Laos vibe however, took a passively vicious tone saying, "whatever man... I don't give a fuck". That may seem a subtle difference to anyone un-rattled by my use of a 4 letter word, but when that is the response to every concern you raise for nearly three weeks, it grows tiresome. By the end of our time there, it had me ready to snap. If you are particularly turned off by the hard sell, then Laos is a better fit for you than Cambodia, and far better than the Thailand I am anticipating, but if mischievous smiles turn you off more than to the point salesmen then approach wearily.

The slow boat is notorious for a reason, and while I have my very own horror story of that transit experience, my story is one of literally thousands. The ability and the economic incentive to make that trip less difficult is readily at hand in Lao. In all likely-hood it would do wonders for the tourist inflow to Luang Prabang, but like I said before, the unstated national moddo of Laos is "whatever man, I don't give a fuck.". So while the culture withers and dies, inconvenience thrives, and as a foreigner I can rant all I want. I will still be charged double and offered half.

I don't want to get ahead of myself here. I left Laos with handcrafts that couldn't be replicated anywhere in the world. Trinkets that are the product of a culture that I deeply admire. I just am sad to see it fading so quickly. For as many handwoven silk garments and hand carved teak wood carvings as there are in Laos there are just as many china-town assembly line pieces of junk mascaraing as pieces of national heritage. If the price of silk garments tripped I could handle that, but seeing Lao village people sell packaged goods from a factory in neighboring China at the same price as the hand woven scarves they are known the world over for... It hurts my heart. I appreciated my time in Laos. Its just that I felt like I got there too late to see the Lao culture that i was so excited for.That is enough of that though...

Happy birthday Mom! I love you and miss you!

constant frustration and occasional bouts with death

In general I consider myself to be a pretty on top of it sort of guy, but for anyone who would object to that, let me just say I have been stacking up points in your favor for this past week. I have been a shit show... I am blaming it on the heat, the language barrier, and the endless travel hours, but if you would prefer to just hold it against me, I guess that's fine too.

In my last entry I mentioned the paralyzing heat... I only now know how horribly I underestimated it. 20 minuets after I finished my first real entry heat exhaustion swept over me in a very big way. I was spending hours at time in cold showers and still the fever would not break. When night fell and the temp finally dropped, I got an edge on it, but what I thought to be the end of the mess proved to be the first of many dehydration problems. I now soak my towel in ice water before I leave each morning and I wander around wearing it as though it were a scarf. Brittany is enforcing hydration protocol and still I find myself falling behind.

We flew from Siem Reap into Laos, on board Laos airlines. I could go into deep detail about that alone, but for now I will leave it at saying "Laos airlines... Good food, bad pilots."When we arrived in Laos we spent the first day chasing phantom mosquito nets, and following Lonely Planet's directions in search of a fabled silk market that we never confirmed to be real. At the end of the most frustrating day I can remember, we decided to cut our losses and head to Luang Prabang earlier than expected. All we had to do was wake up at 7:00 book a bus ticket and wait for it to pick us up. At 11:00 pm reading that ATM's in the country, were few and far between, I had a curve ball thrown into the mix. With that I was up at 6:00 and I was shooting across town via rented motor-bike to pull my budget for the next two weeks. Then while I was trying to divide 2,000,000 by 8,450 (Yeah Lao Kip are hilarious) the ATM decided I was taking too long and took my card. So with only a few dollars and an American Express that is accepted no where, I was feeling pretty stuck. I shot back to the room, rallied Britt, and we set out to tie up loose ends. Britt changed our bus plan, and I zigzagged across town to Internet cafes and bank branch offices figuring out how to get my card back. We had it all figured out by noon with time to spare before our mid afternoon bus departure.

Vang Viene was as far as we would get. Luang Prabang and my birthday plans would have to wait a day. The bus was supposed to take 4 hours, which would put us in Vang Viene at 6PM. So when we were sitting on the side of the road next to a broken down bus at 8 o'clock at night I snapped. All I wanted was a cold beer, and an even colder shower. Neither one produced itself until nearly midnight, but the former came up in a big way.

A young German couple that we befriended on the bus caught word that my birthday was fast approaching and when midnight hit I was quickly introduced to the German pace of drinking. Beer Laos had its way with me and then it left Britt to pick up the pieces in the morning. Hangovers, hot humid weather, and dehydration are a dangerous mix. Add in the malaria med that didn't sit well and there I was, scared for my life on a hostile floor in Vang Viene. I survived, but you get the picture. I will spare you the details and just say that this morning could have gone better.

I have separated this afternoon, into an entirely different day in my mind though. The hell ride that was this morning, ended with the conclusion of the 6 hour bus ride to Luang Prababg. LP is what I came to Laos to see, and from the moment we rolled into town it did not disappoint.

Brittany had a beautiful guest house picked out for my belated birthday celebration, and dinner overlooking the Mekong was amazing. Spicy prawns, coconut milk soup, a watermelon fruit shake and fish steamed in Banana Leaves... Luang Prabang is a quiet vacation from our vacation. Not to mention a textile enthusiasts paradise. Hand dyed umbrellas, silver bracelets, turquoise and jade necklaces, and silk everything... You name it, and some one is hand crafting it here; selling it, almost haggle free, at prices that make you feel like a thief. The more I am here, the more I like it. There is something comforting in all the colors, and given how this day started, a more comforting close is doing me well.

Island cabannas, ancient temples, and the nicest people on earth

Cambodia is everything I hoped it would be and more. It is at times depressing, but always moving. Its beautiful, inspiring, overwhelming, hectic, and generally fascinating. Its the forgotten gem of Southeast Asia... Looking back on the past week and a half I could count the number of people who have looked upset or frustrated on one hand. The smiles and greetings are often overwhelming, but they are coupled with a laid back mind set that will never get old. We have been in the big cities, quiet beach towns and everywhere in between and the only unifying characteristic is the warm hearted people (well that and the paralyzing heat). Rabbit island was as relaxing as it was gorgeous, and the crab traps are always pulled in just in time for dinner. Kep is a sleepy little beach town that was all but abandoned when the Khmer rouge burnt it to the ground in the 70's. It is only now reappearing on the map as a Cambodian travel destination, and being lower profile than the Thai beaches across the gulf, it still offers secluded crowd-less beaches. It was a definite highlight, but this country has an uncanny ability to out do itself. Every meal seems better than the last, every family seems more friendly than the last, and every day is filled with deeper and deeper cultural experiences. I watched the sunrise at Angkor Wat this morning. I wrote that off as being the pinnacle Cambodian experience, and then I laid eyes on Bayon.

The magnificence of Siem Reap is clearly rooted in its grandeur, but also in its detail. Ornate detailing covers every visible inch of every hand carved stone. Walking in and amongst the temples is overwhelming- as much so as any experience I have ever had. Millions of construction hours went into every single temple complex, and today, in less than 8 hours, we rushed through three of them. It feels almost disrespectful and yet I can not name a structure I've ever respected more. Two more days at the temples then we are off to Laos.